10 days that Shook ...not the world ...but Lyanne Mitchell!
Lyanne's Address at the Glasgow Unitarian Church
Sunday 27th August 2006
At the end of June, I decided to challenge myself – to attend a 10 day residential course in Heredforshire, on VIPASSANA MEDITATION. It was highly recommended by a close friend, who is currently training to become a yoga teacher and whose own yoga teacher described this course as 'life-changing'.
The word 'VIPASSANA' means to 'see things as they really are' and is one of India's most ancient meditation techniques. Long lost to humanity, it was rediscovered by Gotama the Buddha more than 2,500 years ago ...and is said to be the nearest thing to what he did to attain enlightenment under his tree.
It is a process of self-purification and self – observation. With sharpened awareness, the student proceeds to closely observe the changing nature of the body and mind – and through this very physical experience (as opposed to intellectual experience) ...perceives the Universal Truths of Impermanence, suffering and loss of ego.
The rules for this 10 day experience are extremely strict – the Vipassana Course, taught and led by SN Goenka has residential centres all over the world. The courses are financed by voluntary donations and practical service (like cooking and serving food) from old students. This is not a cult. There is no pressure to donate money. The courses are not designed to convert students to Buddhism – but to teach a specific technique only. The courses are attended by people of all ages, backgrounds and religions. The
course is inclusive in ethos – it is intense, highly focussed and comes with a rigorous timetable :-
Meditation begins at 4am every morning – a gong is sounded and everyone makes their way to the meditation hall, holding around 100 students.
10 hours of meditation per day, with breaks for walking / exercise in the grounds. There is a lovely wood and several open fields. Lights out at 9pm.
Men and women are completely separated.
There are no 'distractions' of any kind permitted – no books, writing materials, phones etc.
Students commit to staying for the entire period of he course. Only those who feel they can honestly and scrupulously follow the discipline should apply.
And above all, the entire 10 days is conducted in silence – "the Nobel Silence" as the Buddhists call it. Students must not communicate with one another by speech, gesture, touch or even eye contact!
We were allowed to talk to the tutors only and could make appointments with them privately – but only to discuss the Vipassana technique, not any philosophical issues. The purpose behind these rigorous rules is to create an atmosphere which is completely free from all distractions – to allow students to learn this meditation technique and to be 100% focussed ...completely within one's own mind and body.
Now, anyone who knows me, knows that I am a 'communication junkie'! – I am addicted to writing letters, cards, emails, ...and I LOVE to talk. I depend and need feedback from people around me – so the 'noble silence' for 10 days, was very difficult for me ...quite apart from anything else!
The Technique.
For 3 days, 10 hours a day, we focussed on our breathing alone. First the (nose triangle – nostrils and length of nose up to the bridge) then just the nostrils and upper lip. This was the introduction and preparation only for the actual technique.
Believe me, 3 days – approximately 30 hours of conscious breathing is an intense experience. One's awareness on a variety of levels is dramatically heightened. In the 60's and 70's I used to sing along with the Incredible String Band (I was a devoted fan!) – "This moment is different from any before it, this moment is different, it's NOW" I understood that on an intellectual level – but 30 hours of conscious breathing made me understand it on an experiential and physical level.
The Vipassana technique involves scanning every part of one's body, from head to toe and back up from toe to head – becoming aware of sensations – from gross sensations ie. pain, numbness, aching bones and muscles ...to subtle sensations, like itching, tingling, even air on the skin. The Sanskrit word ANICHE (sp?) – means everything changes – everything is in a constant state of change. Everything 'arises and passes away' – Impermanence. Changes must be viewed with perfect equanimity. Vipassana trains the brain, we were told almost like a surgical operation, to observe these changes in one's body, to accept them ...without reacting to them in any way – negatively or positively. With practice, the student learns to stay in the middle path between aversion (negative reaction ...ie "I don't like this and I want it to stop!") and craving (positive reaction ...ie. "I like this and I want more addiction!")
Being able to stay passive, between these two, will take human beings out of 'misery' we were told.
What impressed me was there was no reliance on visualisation (in fact I found it very hard not to visualise) ...it was all about feeling – sensation only. There was absolutely no supernatural context – no God, no higher energy, no magic ...only one's own physical being. Vipassana is not devotional – emotional – imaginative – or intellectual. It is 100% experiential.
However, its effect on me, and the silence that surrounded it, was very emotional. I 'celebrated' my birthday during the course in complete silence. As I walked through the woods, I met my friend Bev coming the other way – she broke the rules by giving me a wink and suddenly, my tears flowed! Later, an Indian lady came towards me in the wood in her lovely bright sari ...she must have seen my tear-stained face, and she too, broke the rules by giving me a great big wide, white toothed smile! That was a true gift on one of the strangest birthdays ever.
Well, after 7 days of this routine, I wanted to escape – I was finding the Noble Silence anything but noble! ...I had replaced the forbidden distractions (books, letters, journal etc) with a whole set of new ones ...I hummed and sang as I walked in the grounds ...I made daisy chains ...I collected stones, and twigs and leaves in the woods and made pictures and sculptures with them ...I decorated our room with all sorts of natural objects and arrangements ... I realise now, that I was resisting the whole process!
I saw everybody , especially the old students, walking about in a trance, like zombies ...when the gong sounded, they began to walk towards the meditation hall like 'Stepford wives' and I was determined not to become one ...and to stay SANE! ...NOT realising that I was in fact, blocking the whole process of enlightenment. The idea was to SURRENDER to the process – not to fight against it.
I have to confess that on the 7th day, Bev and I broke the Noble Silence and discussed our escape – however, she persuaded me to hang on for one more day ...and I am so glad we did – because on the 8th day, everything changed and fell into place. We both surrendered to the process – and the penny dropped. I finally got it. By training the mind not to react to small physical changes ...to let them pass ...this forms the basis for a calmer, more measured response to the constant ups and downs of everyday life.
I know I am guilty of over-reaction – to experience highs and lows – to suffer mood swings. This technique will help me. I learned a lot! – that bees hum in harmony ...how swallows hunt to feed their young ... I saw tiny details in flowers and leaves ...and textures in trees and plants I had never seen before ...smells, colours, sensations ...the complexity of my own body ...the bodies of others ...and animals ... the preciousness of life ............... impermanence!
I am now practising Vipassana every day if I can – I hasten to add not for hours on end ...20 mins to half an hour! I must admit to some serious doubts about following the full Buddhist path 100% – although I deeply respect it. Our teachers came over as passive creatures with little or no personality or sparkle or enthusiasm ... I believe there is a place in this world for anger (aversion?) and for passion, enthusiasm, joyful expression (craving?). We were created with these within us, to be used wisely. If passion and positive reactions are cravings ...I am not keen to banish them from my life. A close friend asked me not to allow the course to change me too too much ...and I haven't – I have taken out of it what I need to aim for a calmer more stable state of mind. I am so glad I managed to come through my barriers and to finish the course.
If you are drawn to this experience, I have literature and information with me. The Vipassana Trust never advertises – their courses run all year and are fully subscribed through word of mouth alone. They are financed by voluntary donation. There is no pressure to donate – a person could go and eat the lovely vegetarian food, enjoy the accommodation absolutely for free – as long as they abide by the rules!
If you feel you could meditate for 10 hours a day, cross legged on the floor, in noble silence and with no distractions of any kind ...I highly recommend this course!
By the way, I had 3 interviews with the teacher, and asked 3 questions ...
To sum up – this experience was memorable and extremely challenging.
It threw up so many personal issues for me – but I want to pick your brains here ... A main goal in Vipassana meditation is to learn not to REACT to sensations ...either with aversion, or with craving ... Is this the same as remaining PASSIVE? ie. IS EQUANIMITY the same thing as PASSIVITY?
All my instincts tell me that there is a place for anger and for passion in human life. In our earlier readings we heard about the passive rabbits in Watership Down ...and there is a big question in my mind about PASSIVITY ...IS it a LETHAL LULLABY?
The Reiki daily prayer mentions anger – "just for today, I will not be angry" I am a Reiki Master or Teacher – but when I say this prayer I amend it and say "Just for today, I will use any anger I may have, appropriately" If we suppress our anger ...does it go away? or does it manifest as something more dangerous or problematic?
Zen Buddhists have a poem that says; – if you want the truth to stand clear before you, never be for or against. The struggle between for and against is the mind. There is another saying – They who put their minds in neutral should check who is behind the wheel. Perhaps passivity to avoid injury or perhaps just an easy out from responsibility ...may turn into a kind of bondage and may ultimately have the potential to destroy the human personality, crippling the ability to love or to care?
CS Lewis wrote – To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact – you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in a casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe – dark – motionless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable!
YES, I am glad to have learned Vipassana meditation to help to calm me – to centre me – and to stop me over-reacting in a negative way ...but am I wrong to retain my passion, my enthusiasm, despite it being called 'craving'? ... and does it really lead to a form of addiction?
I believe that expressing anger appropriately is healthy (especially against injustice) and expressing enjoyment and pleasure – makes life worth living!!!
How about you????